REALITY BYTES

Brett Michaels really needs to get off this bus, quickly. If this “rocker” has any serious music left in him and doesn’t need the money that Vh1 filters down to him - Michaels needs to re-evaluate his life; maybe even, re-invent himself.

The passage of time will find us all gravitating down towards the ground. Our bodies tend to sag and given enough time, we can even begin to shrink. After awhile, our dreams and ambitions even tend to diminish.

Has Brett Michaels career sagged to the point of no return? Get back to your roots, Brett! Your ambitions have been sliding into Vh1-land too far! Pretty soon you will be growing donkey ears and hee-hawing just like Pinocchio did! Even your nose is growing nasal hair. Brett.. for gods sake… don’t …. to late, Brett.

In the beginning, Rock of Love was funny and more of a novelty, than a reality show. It brought Brett Michaels riches untold, by expanding his fan base to include people that would not have paid a dime to watch him perform, before.

Now, Rock of Love is a bus without a driver. Hell, the bus isn’t even on the road freaking road! Brett Michaels’ Rock of Love Bus is stuck in Podunk, USA. It either needs an engine overhaul or to be stuffed and mounted, then put on display in the Vh1 lobby. Put a sign on it, “Rock this Bus!”, because no one else seems to be able too.

Does anyone really care which woman wins this Rock of Love season? Will the winner really get Brett Michaels as her grand prize? Then what? Extenze and Viagra will only carry you so far. Then what?

Now Brett Michaels is making noises about producing another reality show, through Vh1. This Brett Michaels brain fart, would have the camera crew follow Brett around on tour. Just another day in the life of a hard rocking Brett Michaels? Wow! Now we can watch Brett send Big John out in the audience to bring back strippers, to keep Michaels warm at the local Motel 6? As Brett would say, “Hootchie Mama!” Whatever the hell that means.

Let’s get real for a moment. If Brett Michaels has a true calling and wants his own show to turn on a dime, give him a reality based talk show. Brett could come out and play a couple of his songs, plug his CDs and become that cheesy talk show host, that he sounds like now. “Hootchie, Wah-Wa!” What ever the hell that means.

“Rock of Love presents: Hootchie Mama! I Want Some of that Furrrrpiee!!” Starring Brett Michaels as host and rock star. Big John could play the “Ed McMahon” and the house band would be made up of Vh1’s stable of stars. You know - Megan, Buckwild, The Entertainer, New York, Brandi C., Pumpkin, etc.

Every week, Brett could have guests on his show from all of his “Rock of Love” past seasons. Michaels could also interview new, up and coming porn stars, just like Howard does on his show. Howard is getting a bit stale right now. Some fresh blood in this brand of talk soup, would be a welcome addition on Vh1. It’s just an idea I had one night, before passing out on the couch.

If Brett Michaels isn’t up for anything like this yet, maybe Eric Clapton or even Prince could fill Brett Michaels shoes. Let’s face it, another “Rock of Love” after this bus crash would be very Millie vanilla, wouldn’t it?

Megan Joy was eliminated from American Idol last night. Simon Cowell turned the “Save” card into a gun, to shoot Megan Joy Corkery with. This might have backfired on Cowell. Time will tell.

Not that Simon Cowell would save his own mother! This American Idol Icon’s feelings were hurt by Megan Joy, when she responded to Ryan Seacrest’s question about Simon’s critique of her the night before. Megan told Seacrest, she really didn’t care what Cowell had said, about her performance being dull and indulgent. Simon fired back at Megan Joy, “Yes, you do.” Then Cowell got all huffy. “I’m not even going to pretend that we’re even going to contemplate saving you!”

God all mighty! Simon Cowell has a thin skin! He can dish it out, but he can’t really take it. Whatta joke.

Recently, Cowell also came out bashing “Twitter”. Needless to say, this “bully boy” of the media is ready for a sound “media” spanking. Simon thinks that Twitter is silly. It’s very thin ice that Cowell is walking on. As a judge on American Idol, Simon Cowell is about as silly as they come.

You would have to really reach at convince most of us, Simon Cowell is trying to aid and nurture the contestants on American Idol. In a recent MSNBC commentary , they found Simon Cowell’s behavior this season, appalling. Cowell spends more time trying to get a rise out of Paula Abdul, than being a judge. Simon Cowell does not take his job on Idol seriously, so why should any of the performers take his bashing to heart?

Meagan Joy Corkery will still be in the American Idol Tour, this summer. Have you noticed how many of the contestants have begun to relax and not get as upset over the judges critiques?

A lot of American Idol fans didn’t expect Megan Joy to even make it this far in the competition. She still needs some polish on her deliveries, yet she brought a very unique voice and style to the show this season.

The judges all agreed that Megan Joy picked the wrong songs to perform. This might be true! American Idol might not have been the best place for Megan Joy to end up in. Megan has the soul of a jazz singer buried in her. Megan Joy’s road trip to fame, might have just begun.

It took awhile for Dancing With the Stars to shake off Steve Wozniak , but last night the Woz man and Holly Madison found themselves in the bottom three, along with Steve O . Wozniak and Madison were both eliminated from this prime time show. Now that Mr. Wozniak has left the building, who is going to be watching Dancing With the Stars?

It’s no accident the Steve Wozniak didn’t get voted off sooner than last night. It would be interesting to see if Dancing With the Stars actually loses some prime time viewers next week. Mac fanatics turned off their computers and tuned into DWTS to watch Wozniak compete in this dance competition. Now that Steve Wozniak is voted off Dancing With the Stars, will ratings dip with any significance?

Holly Madison was easy on the eyes, yet Holly seemed almost too shy about breaking out of her shell and relaxing with her dance performances. Falling off her chair during her dance routine on Monday evening, didn’t help Holly Madison’s chances either. Too much pressure on this former girl next door ?

Steve O found himself in the bottom three last night and addressed the amount of pressure he was under, competing in DWTS. Steve O commented that at least he wasn’t getting loaded on drugs, or alcohol to get through his stint this season. Whatta jackass! Gotta love him, though. Steve O will really have to pick up his game for next week, if he really wants to stay in Dancing With the Stars. Steve O is currently at risk to be voted off sooner, than later.

This is a clip of the Holly Madison and Steve Wozniak being cast aside, on Dancing With the Stars.

Now that Steve Wozniak and Holly Madison have been voted off Dancing With the Stars, can we expect to see them dancing on “Ellen”, or “The View?

Both Steve and Holly bid a found farewell to the cast and crew alike. They both commented that Dancing With the Stars was a lot of fun and they will miss everyone in this competition.

Last night on Dancing With the Stars, we got to see Steve Wozniak and his partner Karina Smirnoff do the Argentine Tango; Wozniak style. Later in the evening, we saw Gilles Marini with Cheryl Burke do the Argentine Tango to a classic perfection, DWTS style. I thought Len was going to cry over it. Dancing With the Stars is that kind of a show!

The judges on DWTS broke the seal on giving out 10s this episode. Lil Kim and Derek Hough performed the Argentine Tango. Derek and Lil Kim both had to learn this dance. Yet, Derek is used to learning new routines on the spot. It must have worked out, because Bruno and Carrie Ann loved their performance.

Len had a few issues with Lil Kim and Derek’s version of this Argentine ghetto dance. Yet, he still gave Lil Kim an 8. Bruno gave them a perfect 10 points. Carrie Ann 9 points. They ended up with 27 overall points. Lil Kim looked on the verge of tears. She is putting a lot of pressure on herself to perform well.

Melissa Rycroft and her partner Tony Dovolani explored the lindy hop and were the first couple last night, to explode on the dance floor, bringing the audience out of their seats. I just can’t get over how well Melissa Rycroft can kick up her heels on Dancing With the Stars. Melissa and Tony had a rather awkward moment, during rehearsals. What a riot!They received a total of 29 points from Bruno, Len and Carrie Ann.

Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke were the first couple to get a perfect score, doing the Argentine Tango. It was a flawless performance. Carrie Ann commented that she could not tell who was the amateur dancer in this routine.

Gilles Marini puts a lot of added pressure on himself every week. Last night, the camera went in for a close-up shot of Gilles and Cheryl at the start of their Tango. Gilles’ Jaw bone muscles were convulsing so much, you would have thought he cracked a few back molars! Yet, Gilles really is in his element in this season of Dancing WIth the Stars. He has not performed badly, yet.

Steve Wozniak is not in his element and unfortunately, he performs very badly. Performing the tango, Wozniak took few risks.

This is a clip of Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff’s performance on Dancing With the Stars.

Steve Wozniak has proven that he has a lot of supportive voters, that call in every week and save him. Yet, tonight is going to be a double elimination on Dancing With the Stars. I don’t believe that anything can save Wozniak from being eleminated this evening.

The elimination of “The Woz Man” tonight, would take a lot of heat off of the judges. Len, Bruno and Carrie like Steve a lot, but they are so uncomfortable now and almost tongue tied, in their critiques of his performances. Bruno seems to be bordering on hostile, toward Wozniak’s ability to stay in this competition. Yes, it’s a lot of fun too!

Here is the score card from last night, in order of performances.

David Alan Grier - 22 pts. Lil Kim - 27 pts. Chuck Wicks - 22 pts. Lawrence Taylor - 19 pts. Ty Murray - 25 pts. Steve Wozniak - 12 pts. Melissa Rycroft - 29 pts. Holly Madison - 16 pts. Steve-O - 15 pts. Gilles Marini - 30 pts. Shawn Johnson - 25 pts.

Which two celebrities will be leaving Dancing With the Stars tonight, is anyone’s guess. My guess would be Steve Wozniak and Holly Madison. If Wozniak is not eliminated on tonight’s show, what does this have to say about Mac users?

Most of us knew this season’s Celebrity Apprentice was going to shake things up when Dennis Rodman came on board. Controversy, is Rodman’s middle name. In the end, last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was a sad affair. No one seemed tickled that Rodman went out the way he did. Does Dennis Rodman drink too much?

Donald Trump seems to have a soft spot in his heart for Rodman. Maybe Trump was a big Rodman fan, back in “the day”. Dennis could have been cut a lot earlier from Celebrity Apprentice.

Everyone onboard for this season could see the signs. Maybe, Trump wanted to give Dennis Rodman every chance to redeem himself, for his millions of fans. Or, did Donald Trump and crew turn a blind eye for the higher ratings that Rodman brought to this show?

This is a taste of where Celebrity Apprentice had been and the beginning of the end, of Dennis Rodman.

As project manager on Celebrity Apprentice, Dennis Rodman seemed enthusiastic and up for the task this week. Yet, not even halfway into the show, those cranberry and vodkas were starting to show on him. In the end, Dennis blew off his crew and left the building to party down with two of the hotel’s guests. This type of behavior has become his trademark on Celebrity Apprentice. After Rodman had left, his crew seemed to get the tasks under control and things started to run more smoothly for everyone.

Last night the Celebrity Apprentice Intervention took place. It was unplanned, yet Dennis Rodman did come under the gun for having a drinking problem. Dennis Rodman’s drinking, cannot be denied, except by Dennis.

Unlike a lot of other Celebrity Reality shows, the celebrities in this season of the show did not yell, shout or even threaten Rodman. This confrontation lacked the high-end drama, because it was unscripted. Everyone seemed to sincerely want Dennis to take a very hard look at himself, and the amount of alcohol that Rodman was consuming throughout the show.

It’s a given, Dennis Rodman can be over the top and out of control. This is what has helped him become a household name, even with fans that don’t follow sports and never touched a basketball in their lives. Yet, watching someone unravel because of an alcohol problem that is out of control, can be heartbreaking to the people around them.

It was sad to watch Rodman get fired on last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, in this manner. I don’t think anyone on the show took any real pleasure away, from Dennis being eliminated from the show like that.

As Rodman rushed to the elevator door to exit the show, many of the cast wanted to bid him a found farewell. Yet, Dennis was uncomfortable and just wanted make a fast getaway, as quickly as possible. Does Dennis Rodman drink too much? Don’t ask Dennis! Just follow him down to the hotel’s kitchen area, as he orders up another cranberry and vodka; before saying goodbye to the kitchen staff.

Survivor fans should recognize the name “Richard Hatch”, without too much trouble. Richard Hatch was the naked dude that won the million dollar pot on the first Survivor, then got sent to prison for not paying the taxes on his Survivor winnings.

Hatch has been doing time in prison for this deed and is now demanding immediate release from prison, arguing he is not guilty.

From his prison cell in West Virginia, Richard Hatch submitted a 43 page request for his immediate release, to the Providence US District Court. Richard claims that he was misrepresented by his lawyers in court. Hatch also argues,the judge in his case did not calculate his sentence properly.

There will be no ruling on Richard Hatch’s request for at least a few weeks, if not longer. The wheels of justice turn on a very slow timetable.

This survivor is mad as hell and wants to blow the lid off what really transpired on Survivor. Richard Hatch claims in his 43 page brief, that Survivor is rigged.

Apparently, Hatch caught Survivor producers sneaking food to some of the other contestants. When Richard called them on this, the producers made a deal with Hatch. If Richard kept his mouth shut about Survivor being rigged, the show would pay the taxes on the million dollars; should he win the season.

Survivor being rigged? If Survivor was less than honest, then this opens the flood gates that other reality shows have probably been manipulated too! If Richard Hatch proves to be correct and is released from prison, then who would take his place and do the time? Someone has to take responsibility!

If Hatch is telling the truth, then a few people know of his innocence and should come forward! After Richard is released, then the government could begin investigating all of the reality shows to see if they are rigged also.

Can you imagine the public outcry, should shows like “The Bachelor”, “I Love New York” and “The Hills” were found guilty of scripting and manipulation? Maybe they could even do a TV mini-series about all of this reality show corruption!

Good luck, Richard Hatch! Millions of us will be waiting with nervous anticipation for your release! As a survivor, Hatch knows that patience is a virtue. Hang in there, Hatch! Don’t let the man get you down!